Writing 2 - By Ahmad Abedi

	این نظر توسط ahmad abedi(The reformed text) در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 9:04 دقیقه ارسال شده است
			In my opinion, there are some reasons to ban smoking in public places by the government such as Halls. Secondhand smoke has serious negative health consequence for other people's lives with sometimes permanent impact that clearly linked with negative outcomes on a person's health. increasing Cigarette butts affected environment pollution. attractive buildings and the surronding landscape of them are ugly by the millions of cigarette butts. In my opinion outdoor tabacco account for a toxic air pollution. Unpleasant odor : In restaurants and other public places the smell of cigarettes is annoying to others who are using of space and environment. The rights to a healthy workplace that force employers accept their responsibility to provide a safe and healthy environment for their employees as HSE. increasing the cost of medical education and treatment cares also, smokers pay more for life insurance and health insurance than nonsmokers, because of their higher risk of health care costs. these are some the hidden costs of smoking

	این نظر توسط در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 9:54 دقیقه ارسال شده است
			In this text the most attention have been on the reasons and results and there is not topic sentences .but the result is well written. 2- Public places such as hall 3 –"second hand" is not suitable word and we can use of "on the other hand" 10- in the restaurant 11-is annoying to other "persons" who 13-" The rights" it's should be" use performance law" 16-" increasing the cost of medical education and treatment cares also" is not complete sentences and use" education and "is not correct. 17- " Smokers pay more for" it's should be "smokers should be pay more for"

	این نظر توسط Firouz Daneshian در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 11:45 دقیقه ارسال شده است
			(line 1) Grammatically it is better to add a comma after "In my opinion," (line 2) "Secondhand smoke" should replace with "Secondhand smoking" (line 11) "The rights to a healthy workplace that force" must changed to "The right of having a healthy workplace forces" (line 14) "beacause" should be "because"

	این نظر توسط ahmad abedi در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 12:20 دقیقه ارسال شده است
			In my opinion there are some reasons to ban smoking in public places by the government such as Halls. Secondhand smoke has serious negative health consequence for other people's lives with sometimes permanent impact that clearly linked with negative outcomes on a person's health. increasing Cigarette butts affected environment pollution. attractive buildings and the surronding landscape of them are ugly by the millions of cigarette butts. In my opinion outdoor tabacco account for a toxic air pollution. Unpleasant odor : In restaurants and other public places the smell of cigarettes is annoying to other who are using of space and environment. The rights to a healthy workplace that force employers accept their responsibility to provide a safe and healthy environment for their employees as HSE. increasing the cost of medical education and treatment cares also, smokers pay more for life insurance and health insurance than nonsmokers, beacause of their higher risk of health care costs. these are some the hidden costs of smoking.

	این نظر توسط Saeideh tootoonchian در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 12:06 دقیقه ارسال شده است
			I think,It has and explain some harmful smoking's reasons.