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writing3
writing3 بازدید : 60 سه شنبه 23 خرداد 1391 نظرات (5)

 

      All of people have having some variety habits and reaction in different situation. For example talking loudly, eating nail, fast walking (right and left), laughing or … .But these days, some of them have changing and people have finding and making new habits without any attention about utility or damage. One of them is smoking.

      Smoking is so terrible, cause it harm our skin, heart, lung, tooth and … .So it is a really celebrity health’s enemy .When a person has smoking, who is smelly, impatient, bad tempered. Of course they should pay much about it and its accessories. Unfortunately It isn’t good for family’s cost.

      I think we should start controlling from public places and the best way for that have to have and provide a strong law. I’ve agreeing with prohibit smoking in any public places and group, because It damages everybody are in that area-men, women, children-and It isn’t just for smokers. We have to respect rules, haven’t you?

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این نظر توسط در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 9:53 دقیقه ارسال شده است

This text is very simple and clear to read. Its well organised
1- “All of people” this should be “all of the people”
4-“have changing “changed is correct verb” have changed”
6- “its harm our skin”use “to” after harm

این نظر توسط Firouz Daneshian در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 11:46 دقیقه ارسال شده است

(line 1) "All of people" is better to be changed to "every person"
(line 1) "habits and reaction in different situation" has to change to "habits and reactions in different situations"
(line 5) "cause it harm" should change to "cause it harms"
(line 9 and 10) "and the best way for that have to have and provide a strong law" is more suitable if changed to "and the best way is to establish and provide strong laws"

این نظر توسط ahmad abedi در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 14:56 دقیقه ارسال شده است

In my opinion this text has to change to the following text:
All of the people have some variety actions and reactions in different situations. For example loudly talk, quick walk (right and left), Strange laugh and similar. But nowadays some of them have changed and they have found and made new habits without any attention to their works and consequences. One of these habits is smoking. It is harmful for individual and society health. It causes skin to old age prematurely and hurt the heart, lung, Tooth and …. So it is a really health’s enemy. Smelly, impatient and bad tempered are the consequences of smoking for men and women. On the other hand they should pay much money for it and its Consequences caused by its use. Unfortunately it isn’t benefit for the family economy. I think we should control public places to prevent smoking and the best way for this important is ratification and implementation of hard laws and regulations. I confirm to prohibit each person from smoking in any public and crowded places, because it hurts everybody in that area and its negative results not just for smokers. We have to respect rules, haven’t you?!

این نظر توسط Saeideh Totonchian در تاریخ 1348/10/11 و 11:34 دقیقه ارسال شده است

I shold wrote "it harms our skin,...".It was my mistake.


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